Update on everything.....

  I hope to write more later since I am finding out that I am not the only one whose marriage was ruined by video gaming. But basically to sum it up, C and I are getting a divorce. I have been trying to make us work for years now, but he never really wanted to change. He has had issues with anger management for a long time and I have tried to help me realize this and get help, and he never bothered.
  About a month ago he was video gaming when he said he wouldn't be, so I asked him to sleep on the couch and I put his pillow and a blanket outside my bedroom door and went to bed. He came up to get everything and got upset, he came in and told me he was going to sleep in his bed and I could deal with it. I informed him that he said he wouldn't play video games and was going to find other things and yet I had just caught him doing exactly what he said he wouldn't. So I told him again to go sleep on the couch. He stormed out of our bedroom and slammed the door, a few minutes later he stormed back in yelling at me about how he was going to sleep in his bed and he needed his sleep and I could deal with it. I informed him once again that we had agreed he would stop gaming and he broke that agreement so sleeping on the bed for the night and talking in the morning really wasn't that big of a deal. He stormed out again and slammed the door. He came back in again and started cussing me out and calling me all sorts of names. By this point he was starting to shake because he was so mad. For once I wasn't upset or scared, I was completely level headed. I realized he was being extremely irrational and petty over something so minor.
  I told him again to go sleep on the couch, he called me several more names (he honestly used every vulgar one I know of ), and was still shaking. I told him to go outside for a walk or leave and go calm down, he told me to "F off" or something of the sort. At this point I knew that if I found any reason to physically touch him that he'd use it as an excuse to push or shove me back and start a physical altercation since this is something he's done before. I told him once more to leave and go cool off, and that if he didn't leave I was going to leave and take the kids with me. He cussed me out some more and I realized at that point I didn't know what I was waiting for. Here was a man standing in front of me, throwing a temper tantrum over having to sleep on the couch because he broke a promise he agreed to. A man who wouldn't walk away in an argument no matter how mad he got. We had talked about this so many times, I had picked up and disappeared with the kids a year and a half ago because of his inability to deal with his anger issues. At this point I remember wondering what I was sticking around for, why was I waiting for this man to physically hurt me before calling it quits? How were my children going to grow up if they thought that that was acceptable behavior of a father and a husband. I would hate myself if my daughter married a man who behaved like that. And I would thoroughly chew out my boys if they ever treated a woman like that. So why was I putting up with it? How was it benefiting anyone but C?
  I rolled off my bed, grabbed my shoes and started walking towards the bedroom door. At this point C realized I wasn't bluffing and started begging and crying, telling me how sorry he was and he would just go sleep on the couch. He tried blocking me from leaving, but I just went around. I know all the sitcom episodes I've ever seen about abuse came rushing to me right then, it was so stereo typical and I almost laughed aloud at the irony of the situation. I went into auto pilot at that point and started loading the kids into the car even though it was midnight. He begged and pleaded for me not to go, but I told him I was done, I wasn't waiting around for him to want to change anymore, because I realized he didn't ever want to. He just wanted a woman to tolerate his behavior and take care of him. I have 3 kids, I really didn't need anymore. I loaded all the kids in my car and left, I went to a friends house and stayed the next 2 nights.
  After that I came home and told C he had to move out, we were separating for a while, how long I had no idea, but he wasn't changing for himself and I don't think he'll ever change other than to try to make me happy enough to take him back. He moved out, I found a cheaper place and moved a few blocks away into a basement apartment with my kids.
  It's still hard, but I realize how much I already did on my own. C had been working 2 jobs before we split, so the kids really didn't see him much anyways, and he didn't give them much attention when he did. Now he at least gives them undivided attention when he's around and they love that. I'm sad to say he's a pretty good part time dad compared to the lacking full time father, but it's been good for them this way. I am figuring out all the nitty gritty details and working on filing for divorce.
  But I'm happy, I have my hard days, yesterday was my 8 year wedding anniversary, that was really hard, but it hurts less every day.  I realize more and more how bad things have been over the years. I'm going through therapy to help me understand and get over the mental strain that comes with emotional and physical abuse. I am definitely guarded when it comes to video games and computer games of any sort, lol. But I finally have full control of my own finances, no more surprise unexpected charges for video games or things we don't need. No more waking up at 2 am alone in bed wondering why C hasn't come to bed yet when he said he'd be there in a second 2 hours ago. No more feeling like if you husband had to pick between you and a computer that he'd pick the computer. I look forward to eventually finding someone who knows how to pull their own weight in a relationship. Who is my equal partner instead of the teenager I have to bribe to do housework or help out. I look forward to being with someone who has ambition and plans, goals and aspirations. I can do this, I'm thoroughly capable, and once I've finished focusing on working on myself I can do anything.
  So that's my update, sorry it's so long. Hopefully I'll get to this once a week, it does me good.